I love you mom. But I'm not sure if you should be my facebook friend?
An increasing number of families are having this conversation.
Of course, if you have the greatest mom in the world, like me, you would never deny your mom's facebook request.
But some are. The fastest growing demographic on facebook are adults. According to a Pew Research study, only nine percent of adults had online profiles in 2005, but that number is now 35 percent and growing.
SDSU freshman Erin Vierra accepted her parent's friend requests, but isn't allowing them to see much.
"I have completely blocked them. I'm friends with them, but in my privacy settings, I set it so they can't see anything on my page. They can see my picture, and that's pretty much it. They can't see anything else" she said.
Vierra continued, "my parents were really invasive growing up. Whatever I do, whether it is something illegal or not, that's my problem and not their problem. I've blocked them because it is easier not to deal with the family drama if I have other drama going on here."
Vierra's friend and fellow freshman Lyndsi Sherman agreed. "I think there's a fine line between a friendship thing and a parent thing and I think its a violation of privacy."
Sherman is conscious not to put potentially embarrassing or career threatening pictures on the site, but still would like some space from her parents--who are her facebook friends. "There's a difference between your friends and your family and there are certain things you don't tell your family."
But SDSU junior Britney Toole said she has nothing to hide from her family members who are facebook friends. "If you are responsible, there shouldn't be anything wrong with having family members as friends."
She added, "I use it as a picture book and I can share pictures with my family and stuff."
Catherine Butler, a professor at the University of Phoenix who is a licensed marriage and family therapist, said moderation is key. "On a very basic level, its a neat way to connect with people you haven't talked to in awhile. If that forum becomes a dominant part of your life everyday, it may distract you from the business at hand, which is living your life in the here and now."
Butler said Facebook is causing problems in marriages. "Almost every couple that comes in here has issues with each other. The other party is the computer or the person they are talking to on the other side."
She continued, "A marriage is all about intimacy and communication. And when that's lacking and things aren't working so well in your real life, its easy to go online and find connections on the computer."
Butler believes parents of middle and high school students need to be engaged. "Parents don't necessarily know, and don't want to know. But they really HAVE to know...We call it the wild wild west instead of the worldwide web. It is really not always a safe place."
CSU Dominguez Hills professor Larry Rosen, author of "Me, MySpace, and I" said media reports of danger are "overblown".
He spoke with a group of parents at Oceanside's library.
"They should sit down with their kids and look over the site with them and say OK, you look like you are doing OK and don't go back on. There has to be a level of trust between parents and child or else the entire family is fractured" he said.
Oceanside resident Susan Barlette said she is not ready to join a social network. "I just learned how to text message!"
But, she is ready to talk about it with her son, Nick. "I think he can teach me and this way I know exactly what he's doing and why he's doing it. Instead of me constantly saying its time to get off, its time to stop!"
If she joins Nick on MySpace, he said "she would be my number one friend!"
